trolling
by Cookies and Ink
Summary: They both joined the newest hookup site with the sole aim of trolling people. They didn't actually expect to find love. [Instant Messenger!AU]


**A/N:** Written for the Meet Cute Marathon - Day 21

Word Count: 716

* * *

 **#trolling**

RontheTripod69: Nice username. Chosen for what?

 **The_Chosen_One:** Soon to be chosen by you

 **The_Chosen_One:** as the best shag you're ever going to have.

RontheTripod69: I just choked.

 **The_Chosen_One:** ;)

 **The_Chosen_One:** You will.

RontheTripod69: Mate that was too easy, c'mon now. Besides, if we're talking size here well just read my username

 **The_Chosen_One:** Oh you actually picked that? Not everyone likes a bragger.

RontheTripod69: That's rich, coming from you.

 **The_Chosen_One:** Oh hun, it's not bragging if you know you can back it up.

 **The_Chosen_One:** I play rugby, this body is to die for, believe me.

 **The_Chosen_One:** I think this is the first proper conversation I've ever had on here.

RontheTripod69: It's def the longest I've talked without being asked for a dick pic. Tbh I'm not here actually looking to hook up so don't get your hopes too high.

* * *

 **The_Chosen_One:** Hey handsome stranger, you awake or asleep?

RontheTripod69: It's four the morning. Of course, I was sleeping! First, you ghost me, now you wake me up.

 **The_Chosen_One:** Your phone should really be on silent then.

 **The_Chosen_One:** But I am sorry. Go back to sleep.

 **The_Chosen_One:** I didn't mean to ghost you either, I just had a bit of trouble and couldn't get online.

RontheTripod69: Trouble? Wait if you're going to make a sex joke or something.

 **The_Chosen_One:** This literally is a dating app so that'd be the sensible thing but I'm only on here to take the piss out of people for my own amusement.

RontheTripod69: Same tbh. My sister downloaded it for me thinking she was funny but honestly trolling some of the crazier people has been hysterical.

 **The_Chosen_One** : Seems we were destined to find each other.

RontheTripod69: Imagine! Star-crossed lovers. For reals though, now I'm up and curious. Trouble?

 **The_Chosen_One:** You're up? I do have that effect on men.

 **The_Chosen_One:** I was mugged walking home by the stupid gang on my estate. Grew up with them, still live at my Aunt & Uncle's, still get the shit beaten out of me sometimes by old school bullies. They smashed my phone up and so I'm using an old old one.

RontheTripod69: Tf

 **The_Chosen_One:** Yeah, proper sob story I know.

 **The_Chosen_One** : Kills the mood a bit.

RontheTripod69: Fuck those pricks.

 **The_Chosen_One** : Yeah well... Oh hey so someone asked me if I'd ever been with anyone old, let me screenshot bc you'll appreciate how hysterical it was.

RontheTripod69: After you send me that I'm sending you one I had last week when I was asked for a threesome. These people are ridic.

 **The_Chosen_One** : Right! It's almost too easy to mess with them.

 **The_Chosen_One** : I told one person that the reason my selfie had brown skin wasn't because I've got Indian heritage but was actually made to bathe in teabags bc my Aunt's got a thing about Asian babies.

 **The_Chosen_One** : They fucking believed me and wanted me to call the police on her.

RontheTripod69: omgggggggggg stop rn. I can't cope. I thought someone asking me if I was ginger all over and me sending them a picture of a carrot as a dick pic was class but woooowww.

 **The_Chosen_One:** HAHAHAHAH amazing.

 **The_Chosen_One:** I'm so glad you messaged me, our chats make my day.

RontheTripod69: me too mate.

* * *

RontheTripod69: Hey dude, the reason we matched is that we live close to each other apparently. Want to meet up?

 **The_Chosen_One:** Are you asking me on a date?

 **The_Chosen_One:** On the dating app?

 **The_Chosen_One** : The one we both just use to the take the piss?

 **The_Chosen_One:** Will wonders never cease.

RontheTripod69: You're a shithead for spamming with multiple messages. Makes my phone practically turn into a vibrator. But yeah, that's basically what I'm saying. It can either just be two mates or more… if you want more…

 **The_Chosen_One:** I'd love that but Dud's given me a black eye, not my best look.

RontheTripod69: I'll knock his teeth out. I've got five brothers and a sister who's a black belt.

 **The_Chosen_One:** Bruh

 **The_Chosen_One:** Nono It's okay. So not worth it.

RontheTripod69: You really are. Look, my name's genuinely Ron and I'll drive over and pick you up any day this week. Bruises or not, I don't care. I just want to meet you.

 **The_Chosen_One:** Harry. Here's my number. Text me?

RontheTripod69: Will do Harry. See you soon.

 **The_Chosen_One:** Looking forward to it Ron.

* * *

 **A/N:** Prompts and Challenges -

Meet Cute Marathon: Day 21 - I joined this stupid dating website to troll people and then I met you, who also joined this site to troll people. The more we talk about how stupid some of these people are the more I'm starting to like you.

The Insane House Challenge: Style - Text Messages  
The 365 Prompts Challenge: 297. Style - Blog/Forum/Chatroom/Text

Liza's Loves: Write about a rugby player

The Forty Day Challenge: No prose.  
Play More Cards: Rummy - Write about a slash pairing

The Serpent Day Challenge: Black mamba- (dialogue) "It's four the morning. Of course I was sleeping!"


End file.
